Mom's got a (healthy?) crush

Picture this. 

        You get home from school, put your books down, and maybe go to the fridge and grab a snack. Just as you are about to dig in, you hear singing coming from a back bedroom. You walk in to find your mother, microphone hair brush in hand, rocking out to Justin Bieber’s, smash hit single “Baby.” She stops and proceeds to tell you how “dreamy” he is, spitting out facts as if she is dating the guy. 

        This may seem weird, but not far-fetched. Middle-aged women are, in fact, developing an unusual obsession with young male stars. Bored of the George Clooney’s and Tom Cruise’s of their generation, moms are looking at new famous males that are making their hearts flutter. 

       In the early 2000’s, certain female celebrities paved the way for the acceptance of crushing on younger men. In May 2003, the word “cougar” was birthed. Demi Moore started dating Ashton Kutcher, and their fifteen-year age difference has been going strong ever since. This is where popular culture took a turn for the younger. These days, Hollywood seems to be bursting at the seams with sexy young male stars. The major players in the industry are not the veterans anymore, and a group of newcomers have taken over. Guys like Zac Efron, Alex Pettyfer, Justin Bieber, and Robert Pattinson are getting all the movie roles, money, and ladies. Older women have shown interest in these young men, and now in Hollywood, and anywhere for that matter, age really is just a number. 

       Kristin Dukes, M.S. Doctoral Candidate, Social Psychology, at Tufts University, has noticed the shifting standards in society. “Terms like "Cougar" and "MILF" are often used to describe middle-aged women in our society that still have the looks and sexual desire to attract and pursue younger men. It has become somewhat acceptable for older women to date younger men. This new fascination with younger male teen stars seems to be an extension of this phenomenon.”

        The sexual desire to attract younger men is apparent among the older female generation. Take a look in clothing stores today. Many items found in the women’s section, can also be found in the teen section. Mothers and middle-aged women are dressing younger, and taking better care of themselves to gain younger male attention. 

        Some moms go gaga over young celebrities because they want to emotionally reenact a time in their life when they were young and in love. Single mother Sandi Hammons gets plenty of inspiration from hunky stars like Robert Pattinson. “They are total hotness. They inspire hope and they make me feel young again.” 

       Crushing on these younger celebrities really does bring Hammons back to a time when life was carefree. Cora Hoch, agrees. Watching her daughter swoon over these guys really brings her back in time. “Seeing my daughter yelling, screaming, and dancing reminded of how I felt when I watched Bruce Springsteen sing, or John Travolta dance in Saturday Night Fever!” 

      The successful series of Twilight books and movies seem to have the same effect on middle-aged women. Twilight MOMS (dot com) was started by Lisa Hansen back in 2006 after she had read the book Twilight, which was recommended to her by teens in her neighborhood. She went on the web to learn more, hoping to connect with other people who also enjoyed the series. Hansen felt odd joining chat rooms and blogs because most of the people posting were teenagers, so she decided to start her own site for older women. Kara Grady, Media Relations for Twilight MOMS, explains what Twilight does to middle-aged women. “Stephanie Myers, the author of the series, taps into all those energies of first love- how it was all consuming- It makes you remember a time when you thought, ‘I wonder if he's thinking about me. I wonder if he'll call.’ It was the biggest crisis in your life.  After years of mortgage payments and job hunting it's refreshing to remember that time in your life where everything that mattered was just the here and now, not income taxes.  It makes you remember your first love- and how great it was to be in love.”

      It seems like the biggest attraction women have to Justin Bieber, The Twilight Guys, and Zac Efron is an escape. Like Grady says, things can get so crazy in a mother’s life that sometimes you want to do other things to get your mind off the stress. The most refreshing part about this whole moms swooning concept is that they are all realists. “There are plenty of TM's (Twilight MOMS) who swoon over Robert Pattinson and the other actors in the cast- but most don't plan to date them someday!  They are the embodiment of characters we fell in love with-  so women are likely to swoon like school girls at times- but I don't think we plan on leaving our husbands for Rob or Taylor,” says Grady. 

      Phillip Bronstad, Doctor of Psychology, says that figuratively falling in love with these young stars is healthy. “There is no reason that older women shouldn't find young, attractive, and successful men attractive. There's plenty of evidence for this in the psychological literature, and some women really like men who are a little feminine, or youthful. In that way, it's not really surprising.”

      So the next time you discover your mother jamming out to a hot pop star, or talking to her friends about the Biebs, know that it is harmless. It may seem a little embarrassing, but making your mom happy should be reason enough to let it be. Hammons explains, “Moms like to have fun too! Just because you are a mother doesn’t mean you are can’t appreciate God’s creations.”